On a recent trip to India, I thought I’d teach my kids something meaningful about life. Growing up in Australia, surrounded by privilege—spacious homes, gardens, and endless opportunities—I figured they could use a lesson in gratitude.
I had it all planned out. As we drove out of Mumbai International Airport, I pointed out the slums. Look, I said. See how people live in tiny 2x2 homes? See how hard life can be?
I thought I was opening their eyes. Instead, they opened mine.
The Blind Spot of Privilege
While I was focused on showing my kids hardship, they saw something completely different.
- They noticed the vibrant graffiti decorating the walls.
- They pointed out the stray dogs roaming freely, as if they were pets.
- They saw people smiling, relaxing, and connecting with one another.
“They don’t look sad,” one of them said.
I was stunned. Here I was, fixated on what they lacked, while my kids saw what they had: joy, community, and resilience.
Is Privilege Limiting Our Perspective?
This hit me hard. How often do we, from positions of privilege, make assumptions about other people’s lives? We measure their happiness—or lack of it—by our own standards. We feel pity for their “adversity,” yet fail to see their strength, contentment, and creativity in overcoming it.
In that moment, I realized I wasn’t teaching my kids anything. They were teaching me.
Gratitude Is More Than a Buzzword
Let’s be honest: gratitude has become a cliché. We say we’re grateful while scrolling Instagram, shopping online, or griping about “first-world problems.” But are we really practicing it?
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: the people I felt sorry for—the ones living in slums, enduring conditions I couldn’t fathom—weren’t wallowing in self-pity. They were finding joy, connection, and meaning in their lives. Meanwhile, I was the one stuck in a scarcity mindset, despite all my material comfort.
Who’s really privileged in this scenario?
Unlearning the Comfort of Judgment
As adults, we’re quick to judge. We assume we understand the world, armed with our education, experience, and privilege. But that comfort—the ability to judge from afar—can blind us to reality.
My kids saw something I couldn’t: happiness isn’t tied to wealth or possessions. It’s tied to mindset, relationships, and the ability to find joy in the moment.
To truly grow, I realized I needed to unlearn my biases—to let go of the idea that I knew better, and relearn how to see the world through fresh, curious eyes.
Finding Joy in Adversity
This trip wasn’t easy. We were in India to care for my father-in-law, who was in critical condition. Every day was emotionally draining. But inspired by the people around us—and my kids’ wisdom—we made a choice: to find joy, no matter the circumstances.
We returned to an old family habit: sharing gratitude each night. Even in the midst of grief and uncertainty, we found small things to be thankful for. It didn’t erase the difficulty, but it shifted our perspective.
The Provocation: Are You Truly Grateful?
- Do you find joy in the small things, or do you wait for “someday” to feel happy?
- Do you measure others by your standards, or do you try to understand their reality?
- Are you clinging to privilege, or are you willing to let it humble you?
The people I once pitied taught me to reframe my life. They didn’t need my judgment or sympathy. They were already living with more resilience, gratitude, and joy than I was.
A New Perspective
This trip changed me. It reminded me that happiness isn’t about what you have; it’s about how you see. My kids taught me to unlearn, relearn, and truly reflect on what matters.
So, I ask you: Are you really grateful? Or are you still stuck in the illusion that joy is tied to comfort?
The answer might surprise you.
